As I sat in front of the lake in the park, a nagging thought kept popping up: “I should finalize and release the blog post. I feel comfortable with it.” I sighed with relief.
Within a few seconds, my mind was racing. I slowed down, focussed my attention on the Canadian geese, as I observed my thoughts and sensations. The stories I was telling myself, were quite revealing: “You know releasing the blog post is premature, don’t be hasty, work on it a little longer before giving it birth..”.
Now, my energy levels were dropping, my breath shallow and soon after I was sensing my jaw grip. What was going on?
Just, minutes earlier, I was excited to share my post, now my mind was busy creating enemy images and I was feeling frustrated and slightly defeated, almost ready to drop the post!
Do you ever experience an inner conflict that seems like you have no choice?
About healthy choices:
When dealing with concerns about emotional decisions, such as, releasing a post or facing an uncomfortable conversation, fears and resistance often shape our actions and outcomes. Our mind highjacks our body and before you know it you’re stuck in a loop and most likely overwhelmed.
Consider taking the following steps, before taking an action. Tune in, listen to your body and thoughts, and imagine a different outcome, that serves you better, hence the gift of choice.
Step I Observe your physical sensations: areas of your body feel tight, compressed. Notice whether you are holding your breath, the rhythm, is it shallow or full?
Step II Identify the story/ judgments you are telling yourself in regards to the choice/s at hand. (Fill in the blanks).
The thought of (the action e.g. releasing the blog post, confronting my boss… your version) reminds me of how (e.g. ill prepared, incompetent… your version) I am. Besides (e.g. nobody is interested, I am not good at this, who do I think I am… your version)
The thought of taking an action triggers feelings:
When I think of (the action) I experience (e.g concern, fear, anxiety or excitement, stimulation… your version)
Outcome/choice: I am going to (e.g hold off, avoid… your version) the situation.
Notice how that feels in your body. (repeat step I)
Step III Creating a new story!
When I (action as above) what truly matter to me is
(e.g self-expression, competence, contribution, connection, …..).
When I (express, connect, contribute…) I experience (ease, joy, stimulated …)
The new outcome/ choice: Once I (action as above) I get to (e.g. contribute, restore communication…) – values that matter to me.
Now, observe how that feels in your body. (repeat step I)
Step IV Ready to take action! / Choice – Now that you have considered both stories what outcome do you choose?
Have questions or related experience to this article, please share below.